I find myself reflecting, wondering...
Here I am
Another day gone.
What did I do today
that made a difference?
How will I make tomorrow
even better than this day?
And why do I feel
that sometimes
my life is floating away
and that I have failed
so miserably
at so very many things
I wanted to do so well?
Motherhood/Parenthood.
Though they are grown
and on their own--
I feel like I didn't do enough,
didn't give enough guidance and wisdom
(but I tried--it just wasn't ENOUGH)
I still try--
but sometimes I think
perhaps my window
of opportunity is locked
with no key to be found...
And now love;
life mates, soul mates.
Trapped in this space
of yearning and wanting
but just out of reach
of what could have been--
knowing that what I have now
is no better
than where either of them
have already been...
Shhh...
Those are secrets
I hesitate to reveal
secrets of the inside of me
that I try not to feel
so many secrets within
that it's so hard to know
where to begin
how to show
what all lies underneath
the whole of me.
Yet...
still there is this woman
who I try so hard to be;
Positive, loving, caring and free
but these secrets, these fears
do have a hold on me
and I often wonder, often reflect
how, dear Universe,
will I improve and be able to express
the naked truth of my soul
without making them regret the love
that neither of them can seem to let go...
I am just me.
But is that enough?
As the sun dips low
and I gaze at it's beauty
through the parched and almost barren trees,
as I feel the slightest hint
of the hot, summer breeze--
I ache within for answers to come
I ache so much to just be numb--
but the god's honest truth you see,
is that when all is said and done--
I am just Me.
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