Sometimes whenever I watch the sun go down,
I find myself reflecting, wondering...
Here I am
Another day gone.
What did I do today
that made a difference?
How will I make tomorrow
even better than this day?
And why do I feel
that sometimes
my life is floating away
and that I have failed
so miserably
at so very many things
I wanted to do so well?
Motherhood/Parenthood.
Though they are grown
and on their own--
I feel like I didn't do enough,
didn't give enough guidance and wisdom
(but I tried--it just wasn't ENOUGH)
I still try--
but sometimes I think
perhaps my window
of opportunity is locked
with no key to be found...
And now love;
life mates, soul mates.
Trapped in this space
of yearning and wanting
but just out of reach
of what could have been--
knowing that what I have now
is no better
than where either of them
have already been...
Shhh...
Those are secrets
I hesitate to reveal
secrets of the inside of me
that I try not to feel
so many secrets within
that it's so hard to know
where to begin
how to show
what all lies underneath
the whole of me.
Yet...
still there is this woman
who I try so hard to be;
Positive, loving, caring and free
but these secrets, these fears
do have a hold on me
and I often wonder, often reflect
how, dear Universe,
will I improve and be able to express
the naked truth of my soul
without making them regret the love
that neither of them can seem to let go...
I am just me.
But is that enough?
As the sun dips low
and I gaze at it's beauty
through the parched and almost barren trees,
as I feel the slightest hint
of the hot, summer breeze--
I ache within for answers to come
I ache so much to just be numb--
but the god's honest truth you see,
is that when all is said and done--
I am just Me.
###
I saw this and thought, "what a great idea!"--and so, I wanted to stop a moment and tell you, "Thank you."
You have touched my life, Not only this day, but for many, many of my days on this earth. Even the times apart, somehow always you were in my heart, touching my life in all sorts of ways. And now that I am able to hear your voice, truly connect, to communicate with you--it makes me so joyful and happy inside that I can tell you that I truly do thank you. Thank you for loving me, for caring, for all the smiles you share with me. Thank you for giving your hugs across the miles--and thank you too for all the times you've listened and shared your inner thoughts with me.
So, today I am thanking you. Thank you, sweet Love.
See this sunset? I watched it alone.
Sometimes (no,...all the time) I wish
that I had someone to share it with.
Someone to stand beside me and see the beauty,
to feel the awe,
to share in the fantastic magic
that the sunset brings.
I can't help it.
I see the sun going down
and all it tells me
is that this is yet one more day
that I have no one to share it with--
no one near who hears and sees and feels
the exquisite beauty that
I see and feel.
What is it about we humans?
Why is it so important for us to share?
All I know is that every sunset,
every cloud,
every brilliant flower in bloom
is a miracle of nature
that I want, need, hope, wish
to share with someone
who truly cares
to see
the magic and beauty
that I see.
Tell me,
tell me true--
am I wrong?
Am I silly or crazy
for wanting someone else
to share this with me too?
I wish I knew...
I wish so much I could share it all. My life, my joys, my hopes, my dreams, my craziness. I miss so much sharing, you know? Just experiencing and doing and being with someone special. I ache to give--to be a part of life that includes someone else who wants to experience all the adventures.
I wish I had someone to travel the land with me, to go on adventures.
I wish I had someone to lead the way sometimes or to follow my lead now and then.
I wish I had someone who could watch movies with me.
I wish I had someone who would laugh at my crazy antics.
I wish I could run up and hug someone just because they're here and I love them.
I wish someone would run up and hug me just because they love me and I am here!
I wish I had someone to watch the sun go down with, to see the stars pop out at night, to catch the moon beams that shine down.
I wish I had someone to hold me close, to soothe me when I ache, to tell me everything is going to be okay.
I wish I had someone who loves me just because I am who I am.
I wish, I wish, I wish that one day soon my loneliness would disappear and somehow, someway someone special would appear.
Once again, I see the sun going down and I wonder, will tomorrow be just as today?
I watch the setting sun glide away and all I can imagine is that one day, somehow, someway, someone will be there to hold me close, to watch the suneset with me. please? I hope it's not too much to ask...
